Black Ribbons in Remembrance of Mr. Lee Kuan Yew

Ever since the news that our founding father passed on, I've been wanting to go to the Parliament House to pay him my last respect but tiredness, laziness, the overwhelming crowd just deterred me from going. I knew it was just excuses, the few hours of queue was nothing compared to what he had done for us.

On Saturday, guilt just overwhelmed me and I knew that I had to do something. In the afternoon, on my way to my grandma's birthday lunch I thought of making black ribbons for my cell group members and myself. So after lunch, I went out with my mother to Dhoby Ghaut to shop but I still had the thought of making the ribbons. So off I went to Spotlight, Daiso and Art Friends and I only managed to find one 3 metres black ribbon at Spotlight. 3 metres was enough for my cell group members but I wanted to do more, for other members in church or the public. But I 'kinda' gave up that thought and went home, and on my walk home I realised that on the second floor of my hawker centre there's a shop that sells ribbons/buttons. I went up but I was disappointed again, it wasn't of the correct width. 

 It was already around 6pm but I don't know what came over me and I decided to just go to Bras Basah Complex. I had not much hope because on my way there I googled and realised that shops on Saturdays usually closes around 6pm. But I thank God I did not back out, because when I went there I did find the black ribbons, so I bought a 45 metres of black ribbons. After that, I walked to Marina Square as my Mom was there shopping. Met her and went to Kallang Wave so I could go Daiso to get more safety pins. Went there, I was shocked and super disappointed because they were sold out of small safety pins. I immediately left Kallang Wave and took the train back to Plaza Singapura's Daiso to get the pins. Finally.

Upon reaching home, I had my KFC dinner that I also bought home and then with my Mom we started on the ribbon making. We made a total of 320 ribbons in a span of 3 hours. I felt that we could have done more but it was too late to get more ribbons that late at night.

On Sunday morning, with my paper bag full of ribbons, I was thinking of how I should give out the ribbons. I had many thoughts, "How would people react?" "Who will actually care for a black ribbon?", "He/She is wearing black, is he wearing it for LKY?", "Or is it a coincidence?", "What would people think?". In the end, fear got the better of me. I went to church with still a bag full of ribbons. I had to ask my cell group members to give them out to members. I was quite determined to stay put at my seat but my cell group leader encouraged me to go because I made the ribbons. Eventually, I went with one of my member. It was really awkward but people did take the ribbons and they thanked me. I still had many ribbons left so another member and I stood outside the church hall and gave out. I forced myself to get out of my comfort zone and before I knew it, all the ribbons were given out.

I wanted to do my part as a Singaporean but did not want to take any credit maybe because this whole thing is not about me but it's for Mr Lee. I did not expect any thank you(s) in return, but Singaporeans did and they thanked me. They thanked me for my effort. Which I don't deserve because I am thankful for this chance to be able to do something for my fellow Singaporeans. I am thankful for Mr. Lee because of him many Singaporeans are more bonded than ever.

"This whole week has not been easy for us Singaporeans. As each day passes by, the fact that our founding father is gone just sinks in deeper and deeper. This afternoon as I watch the 100,000 Singaporeans brave the rain to send off Mr Lee, that was when reality really struck me...that Mr Lee KY is really gone. And it didn't help that during the recital of the pledge and singing of the national anthem today just brought more tears to my eyes. But I thank God for my job because it allows me to say the pledge and sing the national anthem every day because I know from this day forward, I will never recite the pledge and sing the national anthem the same way ever again. Farewell Mr Lee."

My job

Was looking through my Instagram feed and saw the photo I took of my student while we were at the SEA Aquarium last year. Suddenly my emotions just overwhelmed me. Not good emotions. It was the same emotions I felt during my home visit this year. I've been to 16 home visits throughout my entire journey of being a special needs teacher and it's only this 7 home visits that I went this year that I am beginning to feel a lot for the parents. Maybe it's because that I'm growing older or because of every woman's maternal instincts that I am feeling this way. 

The worries that parents have with a child with special needs is something I can never fully understand because I am not them. Having to have that thought that your child will not be able to care for you or even themselves when they're adults is scary. But the thought that parents have to care for them for the rest of their children lives is scarier. No parents would wish for that to happen but this is reality. I've seen parents trying for a second child because it's part of the 'plan' to have the younger sibling look after their older sibling. Not only that they might have the fact that there is a possibility that their next child might have special needs too. 

For us teachers, we can't do much about it but you can only help that much by helping their child be more independent so that can survive with the basic life skills that they've learnt in school. But it's also tough being their teacher, they need more time learning every single thing. Including basic skills like going to the toilet or washing hands. 

Parents always tell us "It's so difficult to teach one, how do you teach a class of seven?". But let me tell you the truth, teaching a class of seven for 4 hours every weekday is easier than teaching one for the rest of the 20 hours. 

Being in this job really allow me to count my blessings. And I trully admire these parents. So if you ever meet a parent with a child with special needs do help them out even if it's the littlest thing or even giving them a word of encouragement is good enough.